Are we losing our connection to each other by burying our faces behind our screens? Are we missing our on life because we don’t look up from our phones? Why are so we so attached to our devices? How can we be mindful when we have our face buried in a screen? I’ve been thinking about these questions lately.
Picture this:
- A cyclist is on a bike path when a pedestrian, face buried in phone, walks into the cyclist and knocks her off the bike. The pedestrian shrugs and keeps walking. This happened to a friend.
- At the gym: a client with his trainer. During the entire session, the client keeps his phone in his hands and checks it between every exercise. Apart from the fact that it’s incredibly rude to bury your face in your phone when you’ve got a real person right next to you interacting with you, what could possibly be so important that you must check that device at every opportunity?
I’m guilty too…
Yeah, I’m guilty of phone addiction too. At some point I realized that I had a problem. Friends and family would make comments about my attachment to the phone. They were right. As phones became more powerful, my attachment grew. In the last year, however, I’ve taken concrete steps to cut my phone usage. I realized how much time I was WASTING by just staring at that screen. My phone is a tool. That is all.
Yes, it’s a very cool tool! How amazing is that I can do my banking, pay for a parking space, send a message, take awesome pictures, watch videos, to name just a few things, on this tiny device? Yet, this little tool is also a thief. It steals my quiet moments, my concentration, my connection with others, and my attention. I decided it was time for action. Time to retrain myself so that I’d use the phone less.
Habit and boredom: the evil twins
I started the process by asking myself “What are my triggers for picking up the phone?” Two answers popped up: habit and boredom. Once we get a habit, it’s hard to break. Every time I get bored, I pick up the phone. It’s so easy to get hooked on our phones. The sad part is that I don’t even care what I’m looking at. It’s just a silly habit. Since, I don’t really care what’s happening on social media, I do not have a fear of missing out. Far more important to me are my family and friends. I’d rather sit and chat with a friend instead of scrolling through my social media feeds.
I read this interesting article on Thrive Global, one of my favourite websites. The article mentions a TED Talk where the speaker talks about our ever increasing use of screens. (links at the end of this post) The infographic certainly hit home. No wonder it seems like I have no time left at the end of the day. It would appear that my devices are really eating into my “me” time. Time to do something about it.
Action Plan
What am I doing to curb my phone addiction? Here are some changes I made to decrease phone usage:
- The first thing I did was charge the phone in another room. Just this one small change, made a huge difference. At night, I sit in bed, listen to music, and read, instead of perusing my social media accounts.
- I put my phone on silent or vibrate for most of the day. Family and friends will say I don’t answer their calls. Well, that’s because I don’t hear them! If it’s important, leave a message or text. I’ll get back to you.
- I removed most phone notifications. The only notifications I kept are from people. Not the ones from apps. Not only do notifications drain the battery, they are, for the most part, annoying. Just seeing all the notifications pop-up is a stressor.
- I only check emails 3 or 4 times a day. At work, I used to have the email app open all the time. The expectation is that every email just be read and answered right NOW. Not any more.
- There’s one thing I simply love and that’s taking and sharing pictures. My phone is my de facto camera. It’s portable and takes amazing pictures. I will continue to use it in this capacity. I will continue to use Instagram, but I won’t necessarily post daily.
Feeling mindful
The upside to using my phone less? I feel more peaceful, easier to be in the moment, mindful of what happening around me. I don’t feel the need to react to things right away. There’s value in waiting before answering a text or email. Instead of being in a reactive state, I’m more relaxed. Did this happen overnight? Not at all. It took months to get here. And I sometimes I fall back into my old ways. But then, I realize what I’m doing and I put the phone away.
Here are the links to the Thrive Global article and the TED Talk:
https://www.ted.com/talks/adam_alter_why_our_screens_make_us_less_happy
