Many of us struggle with our sleep. A variety of studies have shown that getting a good night’s sleep is one of the key elements to living a healthy life. It’s also one of the more challenging things to achieve, especially as we age. Menopause and the accompanying hormonal shit show affect every aspect of our bodies, and that includes our sleep.
A dear friend recently asked me if I ever feel “wired and tired” as I try to fall asleep. Do I ever. I am very familiar with feeling wired and tired. My body is exhausted and my monkey brain decides that it’s the perfect time to ruminate, worry, and solve the world’s problems. The result is difficulty falling asleep, or falling asleep only to wake a few hours later, unable to fall back asleep.
Sweet dreams of youthful sleep
I pine for the sleep of my youth, where I could snooze through earthquakes. Now, the slightest noise acts like a wake-up call.
Sleep: crucial for overall health
Lack of sleep brings a parade of unwelcome guests – chronic exhaustion, memory lapses, focus issues, and a temperamental digestive system. It deprives us of a basic life necessity: quality sleep. Insomnia is that pesky, irrational devil robbing us of quality sleep. I might dodge it for days, then wham! It’s back. And I know I’m not alone. Many of us, especially the menopausal squad, share this bedtime struggle.
Tips and tricks: wrestling the insomnia monster
I’m happy to share some tips and tricks that have worked for me as I attempt to wrestle this monster:
- Re-train your circadian cycle. Our bodies have a circadian cycle and maintaining a routine helps us train our body to know when it’s time to wake up or go to sleep. During the day, get exposure to day/sunlight. At night, use blackout shades to keep your room as dark as possible. Establish and maintain a regular bedtime routine. Yes, I know, it’s boring! But, it does help. These small changes train our circadian cycle to our wake/sleep cycles.
- If you like taking power naps, consider not taking them and seeing if this helps you fall asleep faster.
- Sleeping in a cooler room is a great idea, especially if you tend to get hot flashes. It won’t stop the flashes, but it’ll be less uncomfortable.
- No screens for an hour before bedtime. I know this is not easy to do, but it’s a game changer. The blue light from our devices, combined with the amount of awful content on social media is not conducive to getting a good night’s sleep.
- In the evening, put phone on monochrome mode. Monochrome is boring to look at and a lot less enticing as a result. I also use “do not disturb” mode so I only get notifications from my immediate family.
- Read something boring before going to sleep. You don’t want to give your brain something to think about.
- Exercise, but not before bed. Exercise is a magic ingredient for so many of our ailments. We sleep better, our mood is better, our bodies feel better. What’s not to love?
- Wear ear plugs. This simple idea, suggested by my daughter, works wonders. It allows me to not be disturbed by random noises, including my husband’s snoring!
- The Headspace app is my sleep superhero. Since I started meditating at night, I have found that my sleep quality and quantity have improved significantly. I use the app and I listen to one of the “wind down” meditations. Maybe it’s the deep breathing or maybe it’s the conscious muscle relaxation, but whatever it is, It helps me fall asleep quickly.
Night waking
Night waking is the extra annoying cousin of insomnia. Monkey brain takeover, middle-of-the-night fixations. Here’s my arsenal for falling back asleep
- I use the “falling back to sleep” meditation on Headspace. Most of the time, it works.
- When it doesn’t work, I do some deep breathing and then listen to white noise.
- If listening to white noise doesn’t work after 20 or so minutes, I start to count backwards from 10,000. Yes, 10,000. If my brain wants something to do, I give it this boring task.
- Sometimes, I pick up a boring book. Within a few minutes, I feel tired and I am able to fall asleep.
- Some nights, nothing works, so here’s what I do: nothing. I lie in my warm bed and say a prayer of gratitude for having a warm bed. I used to get annoyed when I couldn’t fall back asleep. That doesn’t resolve anything and it riles up the brain. Some nights I accept that I will have a lousy night’s sleep and that is that.
Acceptance is important. I learned to change my thoughts on sleep after reading a book recommended by another dear friend who has a chronic condition and struggles with insomnia. She suggested I read “Say Good Night to Insomnia” by Gregg D. Jacobs. (https://www.amazon.ca/Say-Good-Night-Insomnia-Drug-Free/dp/0805089586) She followed his six-week program and her insomnia issues disappeared.
Life issues and sleep
Since last fall, and for the first time in ages, I was sleeping well. I had started a new job on November 13. Coincidence? I don’t think so. I was unhappy and very stressed in my previous job, but I didn’t realize just how stressed. As soon as I started the new job, my sleep improved immediately. Even my husband noticed that I was no longer tossing and turning
Then last week, we had to say goodbye to our sweet pup. The insomnia returned. It is what it is. I know this won’t last forever, so I am trying to roll with it. I’ve learned that when I’m extremely stressed or unhappy, even if I do all the “right” things to sleep, I seldom get good quality sleep. When this happens, I find it helpful to accept it and remind myself that it’s an impermanent state. Eventually, I will sleep better again.
